I’ve totally let myself go. There, I’ve said it. Not just in the physical sense but in the mental sense too. This last year and a half I’ve cared less and less about looking after myself because I’m always putting at least one human ahead of me at any given time. Becoming a mother is the most fascinating and rewarding thing you can do but it means change and compromise and it definitely means less time for you. Less time for makeup, less time for straighteners, less time for clean clothes.
This week I was reminded about my “cyclists on the grand canal are wankers” rant. Someone mentioned that they missed ‘ranting Ash’; Fair point. What I didn’t realise at the time was going back and searching for that video would make ME miss something else… ‘Somewhat put together and looking alright Ash’. People who only began following me recently couldn’t believe that the woman in that video was even me! You see ranting Ash didn’t have a toddler. She got up at her leisure and she pottered into work with a blow dry and full face of makeup. She could afford to regularly get her highlights done and she was using a €100 a month skin care regime. Because she could afford it and she had time. But Jesus did she look good. I don’t know if it’s becoming a Mam or moving to West Cork or likely it’s a combination of the two, but on Sunday I walked out of the house like an old, haggard woman from the Aran Islands. Please refer to picture on the left. Picture on the right is pre-baby glam Ash.
What you can’t see in the above pic are my stunning harem hippy pants and slip on runners with non-matching socks. The actual state of me. I’ve completely let myself go in terms of how I’m willing to present myself to the world. My hair has been green since September and I really must do something about it. But I’ve been saying that for about twelve weeks. I confess that these days if I do wear makeup (and remember to take it off) I’m much more likely to be found using one of Toby’s Waterwipes. If we are to believe your one in the ad, they aren’t for stripping paint off walls, or in this case faces. I now usually opt for comfortable clothing that I don’t mind the dog getting mucky, which heavily limits the wardrobe choices to shabby chic. Except they’re not always chic and most often shabby.
Up until this week I would have protested out loud that I don’t care, but I have to admit that I do. I really do want to start making time for myself, to have some alone time or to go to the movies. I would also love to be able to make time for myself to look well; to ensure that I don’t have green hair and that I get the odd facial. I have been taking complete advantage of my surroundings and the fact that no one really knows me down here to become totally lazy in my appearance. I’ve also taken advantage of the fact that my husband finds me particularly adorable when I’m my natural self.
To those out there who would argue that appearances don’t matter, I assure you they do. Appearances affect how we are judged daily. First impressions are how people make decisions about us that will stick forever and how we are perceived by our peers and acquaintances actually matters a lot. To those who would ask why do I care? I would reply that I wish I didn’t and I would truly love to say I don’t, but that would be a lie. I care because I’ve realised that I deserve to look after ME a bit more and I need to make that time to put myself first. So many other mams who I speak to are in the same boat. So ladies, let’s make some time for us.
Here’s my checklist –
– Have at least one hot shower a week ALONE. Lock the door.
– Use the voucher for the spa day I got for Christmas SOON. Stop putting it off.
– Get my highlights done and hair cut ASAP!
– Meet the girls for drinks at least ONCE a month.
– Buy that cosmetic I keep saying I would like because I actually NEED it.
– Have QUIET TIME. A walk alone, an early night, a bath. Every week.
What would be on your checklist?