How people handle change has always intrigued me. There are those that embrace change, be it for better or worse. There are those who completely shut down and refuse to acknowledge or engage with change. Then there are those who lie somewhere in the middle. Moving from Dublin to West Cork was a big change for me, but one which I feel like I have embraced. I’m reminded of the scene from Bridesmaids when Annie and Helen awkwardly discuss people changing:
Helen: It’s funny how people change isn’t it?
Annie: Yeah, I mean, I dunno do people really change?
H: I think they do.
A: Yeah but I mean they still stay who they are pretty much.
H: I think we change all the time.
A: I think we stay the same but grow I guess a little bit.
H: I think if you’re growing then you’re changing.
I believe they’re both right. Fundamentally I am still the same person as I was in Dublin. I have no fear that if my West Cork friends smash head first into my Dublin friends in a local down here, most likely over a gin and tonic, that I would be outed by either side for being anything other than who I present myself to be. I might fear that hangover though. I do however think that such a lifestyle change can’t help but alter how you look at things, perceive things and deal with things. I think I’ve always had a little West Cork Ash living inside me bursting to get out.
We have embraced life here in Bantry/Ballydehob. Has it been an adjustment? Absolutely. Do I still get frustrated when I get stuck behind a tourist or a tractor on a patch of road I know well? Yes, but I’ve learned to accept that 42km per hour is a tolerable speed to travel at around here. The thing is if you’re late no one seems to care. I’ve become tardy. It would be an easy thing to blame on the baby but in all honesty good time keeping has become less of an energy burner for me since no one is bothered if you’re 15 minutes adrift of an arranged meeting time.
Be it a good thing or bad, I’ve also started giving zero fucks about putting on a face of slap every time I leave the house. Again, I could say that this is a mother/baby related development but the truth is I have no one to impress down here. Toby now spends more time playing in my makeup bag than I do. I have used only one MAC foundation this year as opposed to three or four from previous years. But no one cares. It’s just the norm! My mother is horrified by me, but I can live with that.
I have fantastic notions that I am now a hippy. As mentioned in a previous post, I am a hippy in training. I am still using eco-friendly house cleaning products, still thrifting for clothes when I can and I have even picked berries and made perishable items from trees in my own garden. I’ve grand designs on a veggie patch and herb garden but it’s been a little wet and cold out there for my liking the last while. I’m a fair weather hippy. But that’s okay too.
My core values as a person haven’t changed but I have to admit I feel like I can better represent them here in West Cork. It’s a safe environment where it’s okay to not have a telly in the house, where taking the batteries out of all your kid’s plastic toys is not seen as a horrific crime, where my breastfeeding of Toby while he was turning one wasn’t an issue and was celebrated, where you can go to the shops with no bra on… oh that’s just me? That’s not celebrated? Okay I hear you…it bloody should be.
I guess I’m growing and changing but still the same in my new happy place.